Every addict who has entered the 12 step program has to first admit two truths.
We admitted we were powerless over our addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable.
And the second-
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
It is typically said that one has to hit their “rock bottom” before coming to these conclusions. Each persons rock bottom is different.
Unlike many who have addictions, I was not set free through a program. I was set free in a day, in a moment, instantaneously.
I will not describe myself as a “recovering addict” because that is not who I am anymore. It is who I was.
Sure, I was functional, I could carry a job, a well-paying one at that. I could attend my college classes and do pretty well. But my use of drugs was far more than recreational.
At 19 I sat on the floor of my bathroom holding a positive pregnancy test, terrified because I had just spent the previous two weeks partying.
There was little chance (in the natural) for this situation to turn out well.
That day in my bathroom changed everything. I walked away from drugs at that moment and I haven’t gone back. I bear nothing of this former life that I lead.
Even though this seems like it must have been someone else, I refuse to forget my history, my past. I don’t look back but I don’t forget.
I was saved by grace. It was the KINDNESS of God that led me to repentance. Step 1 and step 2 could never be accomplished without His kindness drawing me there.
It was not condemnation.
It was not fear of His judgement.
It was not other people’s opinions of me.
How quick we are to point our fingers at another who we deem more sinful than ourselves.
I don’t want to dwell here too long, I really just want to tell you about my friend.
Right now, at this moment and time in history His arms are outstretched and He is drawing you to Him, because He loves YOU.
And guess what?
He has seen it all, every moment, every struggle, every pain, every tear, every hurt, every injustice. He knows the depths of what you’ve been through.
But when He draws you to himself, he does not show you who you ARE or who you WERE but who you WILL be.
I am 100% convinced I would not be alive today without Jesus, nor would my son.
A mistaken phone number led me, not to planned parenthood, but instead to a crisis pregnancy center, where one conversation filled with grace changed the course of my life forever.
One question posed without judgement and after much listening, SAVED a life.
Words are powerful my friends. More so if you are called by HIS name. Your words are weighty.
They are a picture of Jesus to those who don’t know him and you may be the only Jesus they have in their lives.
The woman sat with me for a long time, heard my fears and struggles, never gave me a look of judgement but only of pure love, and asked me these questions.
“Do you think if you continued with getting an abortion that you would regret it later on?”
“Yes, I’m sure I would,” I said.
“Do you normally do things that you know you are going to regret?”
That was it, my life was forever changed by words.
You know who she showed me? She showed me her friend, Jesus. After some time we developed a relationship and I learned where her love and grace came from. You see, she remembered her own story. She remembered her rock bottom. She moved in grace because she remembered where she came from.
Luke 7:47 “For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.“
I don’t think things would have gone the way they did had she made me feel judged or condemned. Had she said, “well look at where your lifestyle has gotten you now.” Had she said, “God loves you but hates how you are living…”
Love is powerful.
Love covers a multitude of sins.
Love transforms. The definition of transformed is “changed, altered, convert, metamorphose, transfigured“… I am most definitely transformed.
Because of kindness, because of love.
Today, I charge us, walk in love. Love others as you love yourself. Bite your tongue if needed, stop your hand from typing, think before you share an article and remember where you came from.
Love is a game changer, it’s a nation changer, it’s a life changer. The hope of our world stands with us and how we will love.
“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13